Motivation is key

I always find it interesting how life happens. You can be low as low
can be one minute, and then happy as can be the next. Not only do you
go through these changes, but those close to you do as well.

For quite a while this year I was doing well. I was finding success
with my career, and even started to work on improving my mind and
body. I wasn't as concerned with how much time I was alone and feeling
lonely. I was on a roll. I was doing great. Then I had to start
searching for a new job. My schedule changed and I didn't have time to
go to the gym as often as I wanted. I was working both jobs and
starting to feel down. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped thinking
about what I was eating. I worried all the time about my future and my
job situation. I wasn't feeling any joy. It was horrible.

I finally made an appointment with my trainer, and met with her after
not seeing her for a couple weeks, and not going into the gym. It was
hard work. I had really started doing better and moving better. It
felt like a huge setback, what I could do two weeks before was far
harder than I thought it should be. I will admit I gave up a little. I
have been in contact with my trainer, but between our schedules we
haven't been able to work out a time to work out.

I even started to look around at all of my friends, most of who are in
happy relationships. I started to feel disconnected from them, as if I
wasn't good enough to hang out with them because of all I was lacking.
These feelings have happened to me many times before. 32 11/12 is a
lonely age.

While all of this was going on I spent a lot of time with friends.
This friend is making amazing positive changes in her life. She is
working on improving her mind and body by going back to school and
losing weight. She is planning a wedding to a guy who I think is
perfect for her. A guy who when he bought the ring texted me because
he was so excited about how pretty it was and how he couldn't wait to
give it to her. She is rocking life. She is motivated.

This got me thinking. Motivation is key. Maybe what I need is a little
more motivation. Or maybe I just operate better when I'm happy and on
an even keel emotionally. An interesting thought to ponder. Over the
past week, my outlook has gotten brighter, will that help my
motivation?

Last week I had multiple job interviews. I heard from an inside source
that I would be offered a job at one of them. 5 days later I got the
official call from central office offering me a job teaching fourth
grade at a school I have previously taught at and loved. Sweet!
Immediate financial/career future secured.

I still haven't been to the gym. I have tomorrow afternoon off from
work and I am going to find my way in to do something physical. The
more I think about it the more I owe it to myself to get back in gear.
Yes it will be hard, but isn't it worth it? I was feeling so proud of
my progress, my range of motion had improved, I had more energy (kind
of scary as ADD as I am but still), and I was more positive about
life, so why not go back and try again. As Bob says, "Baby steps, Dr.
Marvin, Baby steps!"

As for being alone and lonely, maybe there is a glimmer of light...had
a couple of enjoyable dates with a guy who makes me laugh, gets my
humor, is college educated, handsome (in my opinion), and wonder of
wonders thinks there is something about me that is worth knowing, and
getting to know better. Where is it going to go? Who knows, but I'm
certainly feeling pretty good about myself.

So, motivation is key. But what I now need to figure out is the
motivation enough, or do I need to couple motivation with happiness to
find success?

What do you think?