Confidence kills

So I have been quiet for a long time. I fell away from my goals. There were a number of reasons, working two jobs again, a new man in my life, and the biggest reason, lack of confidence that I could actually meet my goals. As I let go of my goals I also let down a couple friends who were looking for support from me and to them I would like to apologize. I know that they are continuing their journies in their individual ways and I want them to know that even though I am not accomplishing my own goals, I am here for them whenever they need someone. 

I am not sure where this lack of confidence in myself is coming from. In all other areas of my life things are going great. I am finally dating someone who I respect, and who respects me, someone who makes me laugh, has similar interests, and who has gotten a seal of approval from friends and family. Something that has never before happened in my life. For the first time I feel like I have a fulfilling relationship, and it is wonderful. It is helping me to regulate my mood (something that has always been difficult for me) in all other areas in my life. In my career I'm more organized than I have been ever before. I am learning new curriculum, keeping on top of student learning and behaviors, and have even taken on a technology coordinator position in my building. I am feeling confident in my work. 

So why am I lacking confidence? Why have I stopped going to the gym? I guess I'm lazy, or maybe I let life get in the way. I don't have an answer. I just know I need to start going again. I find that I miss it. I was feeling so good physically. I think if I start going back and feel good physically and mentally than I will be unstoppable. 

Time to start out small once again. This weeks goal, go to the gym twice for at least 40 minutes each time. Hmm...look at the time, I could go right now....